How To Meet Women

How To Meet Women

In my study of dating dynamics, I often talk about transitions, which are basically the stepping stones that lead you from the moment you spot her across a crowded room until you are in bed together. So, you have studied how to meet women before. Let’s break down the process even further.

These transitions are based on the idea that there is always forward motion. You are not stopping to ask permission for the progression of your relationship. In other words, you aren’t pausing to ask her if you can kiss her, you just do it.

You need to know how to navigate the current and get from the shore to the other side where intimacy with this woman awaits. At the same time, those rocks are slippery and the river can be treacherous. Be careful or you might be swept under and washed away.

How to Meet Women Steps:

1. Contact. This is where you first spot her, approach her, and strike up a conversation. As things hum along smoothly, you are also going to need to get some contact information, either an email or phone number so you can make plans for a future connection.

Later, you must make that first phone call. Keep it brief and arrange your next meeting.

There are some rules for this first step. This order of steps really applies with women you’ve met in a cold contact or non-social situation. If you’ve met a woman at a club or bar, you can go from step one directly to the concepts laid out in step two without waiting for that first date or meeting.

2. First Meeting. This is when you get together again for the first time. You can call it a date, or whatever, but this is where you hook up again and you start working on getting her even more attracted to you. (As I mentioned above in step #1, you can do some of the following escalation techniques without arranging another date if you’ve met in an environment conducive to this.)

First Touching. This involves the first time you make any contact that is more than just that of a friend. It could be holding her hand or putting your arm around her waist or shoulders.

First Kiss. This will happen on this first outing or meeting.

3. Extended Kissing. This is where it gets hot and heavy, making out, sucking face, what have you, which leads to:

Sexual Touching. This is where you escalate the sexual tension and begin touching in a sexual way, which can lead to:

Shedding clothes. You should get naked if you want to successfully stimulate each other sexually.

Sex. Congratulations. The goal, prize, breaks out the champagne and confetti.


There are a few other things to say about the rules for how to meet women:

If you are escalating sexual tension with a woman, you can speed up these steps, but don’t skip any (except the first meeting) unless she skips them for you. Perform them in order and you will be successful.

Another caveat, somewhere between the first touch and extended kissing, you need to work on isolating her, away from her friends. Then for the last three parts – sexual touching, shedding clothes and sex, obviously you need to be alone, in a private place. These are some tips on how to meet women.

-Carlos Xuma

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