3 Ways To Recover When Your Date Goes to Hell
Mike, a client of mine (not his real name), came to me about a problem he had with sealing the deal with the ladyfolk. He’s been dating a few women since he got out of a previous relationship last year, but he’s never made substantial progress with any of them.
“Things were shaping up with the last girl I saw, but after the third date she suddenly got cold on me. She wouldn’t return my calls after that…”, Mike told me despondently.
He went on: “We were talking about music and I ended up making fun of hair metal bands from the 80s. It’s not that I hate that kind of music…I was just trying to make a funny quip about how cheesy they look with their hairdos and spandex…”
So his date got upset with that and accused him of being “too biased to open his mind to other kinds of music.” Mike got a bit defensive and told her she was “getting worked up over a stupid joke.”
He added, “I got so worked up myself that I ended up making fun of her music even more…that probably wasn’t the best move.”
Needless to say, it put a huge, awkward dent in their evening.
A Common Pickle Among Men
Look, this is something ALL guys go through at some point, regardless of their relationship experience. Sometimes, you’ll say or do something that’ll rub your woman the wrong way and create an avalanche of trouble.
And if you’re in the same boat as Mike, the stakes are even higher. When you’re past the “getting to you know you” point, but still in “let’s be friends for now” territory, it makes for a sticky situation.
BOTH of you are at a CRUCIAL time when the mutual attraction is there, but haven’t gone beyond being friends. So any friction at this point could either make or break your relationship-to-be!
It’s likely a woman will be emotionally invested in you by this time, so she’ll take failed expectations hard – bear that in mind.
The worst thing you could do is dig a deeper hole for yourself by reacting the wrong way like Mike did.
That said, take note of the following tips:
#1: Damage Control 101
You might be thinking, “Does that mean I should just shut it and keep my opinion to myself?”
Hell no. Begging for her approval AFTER the fact is the best way to DESTROY any remaining respect she has for you.
But you do need to deal with her ruffled feathers, and there is a way to do that without emasculating yourself.
First off, don’t play the defensive card like Mike (e.g. “Buuuut I was just making a joke”) – your job right now is to let her do the talking.
Let her blow off some steam and give her the satisfaction of being heard. That alone will take the edge off already.