Confidence: Part 5 – Presentation
When you walk into a room, a woman will sum you up in less than 5 seconds. In that short amount of time, how you carry yourself will let the ladies know everything they need to know about you and whether you have a chance in Hell with them.
Whether you are just beginning your quest for personal success in the dating arena or a seasoned veteran, it is always a good idea to take a long hard look at yourself and see how others perceive you. Are you projecting the image of yourself that you intend? This image is incredibly important for success in your life, and especially with women.
For example, when I teach voice-over, most people have an idea of how they sound, yet they are often way off the mark. How many times have you heard yourself on a recording and thought, “Wow, do I really sound like that?!?” Yes, yes you do sound exactly like that. To everyone in the world, but yourself. The same thing goes with how you’re projecting yourself visually to the world. Ask yourself honestly, are you conveying the image you want? If not, it’s time to get to work!
Find out exactly how you are perceived. NOW!
This little exercise may hurt a bit, but it is very necessary. I want you to send out a message to no fewer than 10 of your friends and associates asking them one simple question – “What is the image that I am projecting to the world; how do you see me?”
These are your friends, tell them to be brutally honest with you. Also have them give you advice on how you can improve yourself. This will absolutely open your eyes. You have been seeing yourself through rose colored glasses, my friend. It’s time to take them off and become who you want and need to be.
Once you get all this enlightening information, you can utilize it immediately. Here are some ways:
Upgrade your wardrobe.
This goes for any of you who have not updated in the past year. Styles come and go, but the classics are the classics. Buy a pair or two of really good jeans, great shirts with really great textures, and some seriously awesome, classy shoes. Women will notice your wardrobe! Make it good. How? Well,,,
Take a woman shopping.
This works on many levels. Find a women whom you trust, with good taste, and allow her to guide you to the right styles for you. Even better if she is someone you are interested in. It’s a great flirty fun day that she will love. She gets to dress you up and “fix” you. And we all know how much women love that. I also highly recommend cologne shopping. Spray a little on your neck and let her take a close up whiff. Saucy! Women’s senses of sight and smell are far better than ours. Let them guide you and you will become a better man.
* Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Note how you walk, talk, and carry yourself in the presence of others. When you enter a room, do people notice? You should walk into any room confidently, shoulders back, head up, and move with a smooth purpose. A great trick I have used is, when you enter a public place, never stand there loitering tentatively while looking around. Head straight on in like you own the place. Go to the bathroom, to the bar, or just make a loop around the joint, but keep moving. You may not know where you are going, but you sure look like you do. And you have just scoped out the whole place and know where the Hotties are!
* Clean your shit up!
If your home is a pig sty, forget about bringing a woman over. Your place should look like a grown up lives there. Keep it clean and inviting, smelling nice. Have some interesting textures and colors around. Get some lady style tips there too – another excuse for a “fix-up” play date. I recommend always bringing something interesting from your travels, back home as conversation starters. Little games and puzzles are great to have lying around too. And don’t forget about yourself. Don’t wear clothes more than once and keep yourself clean. If it stinks, your place will too. Remember that heightened sense of smell I mentioned? If you think you smell, YOU DO! Light some candles, set the mood and make the place smell nice at the same time.
Get some professional help.
If you don’t have any lady friends yet, hire a style consultant if you must. At the very least, study style magazines and watch some of those design shows that are everywhere to get some ideas. Don’t let your ego get in your way of self-improvement! Allow yourself to let go and let other people help you. Otherwise you may never get to the place you wish to be.
None of this has to be expensive or particularly time consuming. Much of the time you can hit a Ross, Marshall’s, or TJ Maxx and find amazingly good stuff for yourself and your home. I love those places and I am not afraid to admit it. Another place I find killer stylin’ deals is at thrift shops. I have scored some of my absolute favorite clothes that women really dig in these great shops, such as Out of the Closet, Goodwill, and the Salvation Army. If you scoff at these, fine. Hit the outlet malls for the big hoity toity fashion houses and save some skrilla. Just get out and do it!
Let go of your ego and let others tell you how you are honestly being viewed by the world. You will reap great rewards on many levels when you do. You will look great and you will feel better knowing that you indeed carry yourself like a MAN, and the ladies will sum you up in those 5 seconds and say, “Damn!”
Go On, Be Strong
Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage